Please mail in your response cards to a wedding as soon as you know if you can attend or not. The bride and her family have enough stress in the last couple months leading up to the wedding and do not need to be chasing after forgetful people. Be considerate and reply as soon as you can. Enough said.

Also, pay attention to how you sign the RSVP card. If you play jokes, the bride may play a joke back:

I kid you not, this was me and my husband at a wedding on May 30th.

More often than not your DJ will ask for your insight into the reception playlist. You can at least come up with a “Must Haves” list and a “Do Not Play” list. Just in case you need some help allow me to suggest a few songs to add to your “Do Not Play” list:

“Irreplaceable” by Beyonce

“Since You’ve Been Gone/Already Gone/Breakaway/Walk Away” by Kelly Clarkson, you get the point

“Me and Mrs. Jones” by Micheal Bubble or others

“Bad Romance” by Lady GaGa

“Whatcha Say” by Jason Derulo

“3″ by Britney Spears

and so on…

If you ask why, simply google the lyrics to any one of those songs. You’ll get the point. I’ve heard nearly all of those songs  played at various wedding receptions and I think keeping a positive view of love and romance is the best way to go during a wedding. I’m just saying…

As an invited guest to a wedding, it is best to stay throughout the duration of the reception. Receptions typically last from 3-4 hours but it is just a fancy way of having a big dinner party with all of your closest friends. So many evening weddings these days lose about half their attendees by the time the newly married couple makes their Grand Exit to the get-away car. It makes me sad to see what could be a huge celebratory send-off at the end of the night become a small line of mostly bridal party members waving good-bye.

I recognize the obstacles that some wedding guests may have such as young children, sleepy husbands, or other plans. Those are legitimate reasons to need to leave but try your best to plan ahead – hire the babysitter for the entire evening, get the hubby a cup of coffee, and clear your schedule for that day. If you’ve ever planned a wedding you know full well the stress that goes into making the guest list just right. The bride and groom chose to invite you over someone else so don’t disappoint them by dipping out early.  Clearly, these are my opinions and not law but a wedding is a special occasion that deserves special time and attention from all parties involved!

Buying “off the registry” is a gamble.  Most engaged couples these days assume that guests will check out their gift registry. Registries are a great tool to see what the couple really needs and wants for their new life together. I’m sure we’ve all heard our mothers talking about how they received 4 waffle irons, 6 crockpots, 12 gravy boats, 4000 coasters but no silverware. People love to give gifts that they are sure the couple will need. There’s usually nothing wrong with purchasing a gift that is not on a registry but when the registries are available try and use them.

Registries aren’t fool proof though. I registered for one 9×13 Pyrex baking dish and received 8 of them! Sometimes people forget to take the purchased items off the registry. Luckily most stores are great with exchanges and returns. We were just visiting with some friends of our who got married this summer and were laughing about their 3 different, everyday salt and pepper shakers. They had only registered for one type, but a couple guests just wanted to be sure they didn’t go without seasoning their meals! When in doubt, use the registry.

Seriously ask yourself this question. Are all the planning, details, glitter and glamor for you and your soon-to-be spouse or is it for everyone invited who witnesses your wedding day? I think it’s for the guests.

Obviously, I believe that the actual covenant that takes place on your wedding day is for the bride and groom alone and, yes, the wedding is all about the couple. But what is the point of dressing up a table, creating place cards, printing programs, or hiring a DJ if the wedding celebration is for you? You don’t need to be reminded of the order of service or where each guest eats dinner. We make weddings beautiful for our guests in order that they might see how excited we are to be sharing with them in our most special day.

If a wedding celebration is for the guests, then think about how you can make the experience the best for your guests. This means taking time to plan out the details, hire a coordinator to keep the flow of things going, use real dishes instead of paper products, if it’s a hot summer day provide AC and bug spray, if it’s cold then provide a heated room, hire a caterer who provides the clean-up service. Each and every decision made to improve your invited guests’ experiences will not be forgotten.

The best weddings are the ones where guests walk away thinking, “What a wonderful time we just had. I’m glad we were invited to this wedding.”

Invitations are traditionally sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding date. Any less than that may cut too close to the date of getting a final head count to your vendors. If you want to send them out more than 8 weeks in advance, allow plenty of time for replies to come back to you. Try not to send them more than 10 weeks in advance. You don’t want guests to have so much time that they forget about the wedding weekend when it finally arrives.

Reply cards, i.e. “The favour of your reply is requested by Month Date, Year”, are best dated at one month prior to your wedding day. This will leave a bit of room for the forgetful guests to return their replies before your final head counts and payments are due.

And only the bride should wear white. If you’ve thought about wearing a white dress to a wedding before and decided against it, I applaud you. Ladies, stay away from the white dress when it’s not your day. I’m not talking about dresses with white accents or patterns or even some floral prints with a white background. Stay clear of the white sun dresses, the White House Black Market dresses that are mostly white, the white formal dress, etc. White is for the bride and occasionally the groom.

Rule of thumb: If you have to ask yourself if a dress too white for a wedding, put it back and make another selection.

Jason Keefer Photography

Save-the-dates are a fabulous little way to, well, save the date of your wedding. They are typically sent out 6 to 8 months before the wedding day. They aren’t as necessary much after that, especially with personalized wedding websites being the thing to do. StD’s are a great way to inform long distance relatives and those needing to plan for travel arrangements of the exact dates well in advance.

Here’s few fun sites to check out for ordering Save-the-Dates:

Serendipity Designs

Save the Date Magnets (this company has great phone customer service)

Paper Style

Be very mindful of the relationship between your ceremony start time and the type of reception you offer.  I know this can get tricky when you are trying to save money or do things on a tight budget. Many people think, “I’ll get married at noon or one o’clock and then have an hor d’oeuvres receptions,” or, “I’ll get married in the evening and have a drinks and desserts reception.” It is totally possible to do that, however not the best, most thoughtful way. If you can only afford an hor d’oeuvres reception, plan your ceremony time at a mid-meal point in the day – such as 2pm or 3pm. This way your guests will have already eaten lunch and your reception will end before the dinner hours are up allowing them to grab dinner on their way home. If a dessert reception is all you want to offer, then again, place your ceremony at a mid-meal time of day or late at night. In the event of an evening wedding with desserts only, try not to have a ceremony earlier than 7pm and make it loud and clear on your invitations that it will be a dessert only reception. If you have an evening ceremony between 5-6pm and do desserts only, consider allowing extra time between the ceremony and reception start time so that guests can grab a quick dinner somewhere on the way.

Typically, wedding receptions should look like this:

• 7am-10am Ceremony Start Time: Brunch Reception
• 11am-1pm Ceremony Start Time: Lunch Reception
• 2pm-3pm Ceremony Start Time: Hors d’oeuvres, Cocktail Reception
• 4pm-7pm Ceremony Start Time: Dinner Reception
• 8pm on Ceremony Start Time: Dinner, Cocktail or Dessert Reception

It’s not always fun to figure these logistics out. If you are dealing with a site location that only has certain time slots available for your ceremony, pick the one that allows you to have the type of reception you can afford. A word to the wise: Everyone is happier when they’ve been fed!

Traveling for wedding can be a big sacrifice for most people. It usually requires time off of work, gas money/airfare and hotel rooms. Another way to show how much you appreciate your out of town guests is to provide them with a “welcome basket.” These are great ways to start the weekend off right.

Welcome baskets can be brought to the hotel concierge or front desk ahead of time and distributed to your guests upon their arrival. If your guests are staying with family or friends, drop off the baskets at the homes ahead of time. They do not literally have to be a “basket.” You can use decorative gift bags or boxes.  It’s great to include a weekend schedule, a map of the area, directions to all family events for the weekend, some local restaurant recommendations and other goodies. Here are a few ideas:

Wedding Theme: Make all the items relate to your wedding’s theme. For example, a winery.

• Include a bottle of wine from the vineyard
• Include the winery’s brochure
• A wine glass
• A bottle opener
• Chocolates that pair well with the wine

Couple’s Theme: Center all the goodies around the bride and groom

• The groom’s favorite candy and the bride’s favorite candy
• The groom’s favorite beverage and the bride’s favorite beverage
• A professional photo of the couple
• A keepsake from the bride and groom’s colleges such as a pen or a key chain
• A sample of their favorite coffee beans

Location Theme: Make all the goodies relate to the state or city of the wedding. This is what I did for mine:

• A bag of Virginia peanuts
• A bottle of Virginia Cider
• Virginia made potato chips
• A nice pen from the University of Virginia (also my school)
• Virginia made chocolate bar

I bought plain white gift bags from a craft store and decorated them myself. This was a fun way to invite some bridesmaids over to help decorate and assemble the welcome baskets. You can get really creative with this project and also create a very memorable gift for your guests!